Survival of the Mom-less
Every year, it comes around and I think I’m better prepared than I am. It’s impossible to prepare for how you might feel on the annual holidays that remind you who’s missing in your life.
On the 5th Mother’s Day since losing my mom at age 67, I took a decidedly proactive approach to appreciating all those in my life who are “mom” figures to me in some way, shape or form. There doesn’t have to be a DNA connection to have a mom/daughter-ish type bond with close friends, colleagues, and even moms of other friends. By reaching out and even sending gifts to a few friends who are moms (including one whose baby daughter heads in for heart surgery next week) as well as my single-mom sister, my “work mom”, and the mom of a close friend who recently passed away, it took away some of the heartache I typically feel over the loss of my own mom. It was less biting of a day than usual, as I’ve come to a level of acceptance on year five that my mom truly is in a much better place than when she was battling breast cancer (and other illnesses) for 18+ years here on this planet.
In kundalini yoga this morning, the teacher let us know the class would be themed around honoring the “mother energy” that lives inside all of us, as well as that of Mother Earth. It was beautiful and peaceful and the mom-honoring mantras and energy-moving exercises were just what I needed to feel at home and safe in this crazy world that often feels completely shaky without those anchors known as parents. Oddly enough, when your parents aren’t well, they are still your anchors. They are the ones who always tell you that they love you even when you’re unsure if anyone else does. Losing parents, especially your mom, is something that no one can ever prepare for.
No one has a perfect relationship with their mom, but when your mom is alive, you always feel like you have time to make things different or say what you need to say. I had to get past a lot of what went unsaid during my mom’s time here on earth and work on accepting that she knows ALL of it from above. She’s my spirit guide, my guardian angel, lighting my path and teaching from above. Once I truly came to believe this (thanks largely due to multiple readings with pyschic medium Rebecca Rosen), it’s been immensely easier to get through days like today.
A friend said to me today, “You seem so happy. How are you getting through the day, isn’t it so tough not having your mom?” And I surprised myself more than her when I responded, “My relationship with my mom has never been so good. I am at peace with knowing she is at peace, and I feel her presence with me all of the time.”
I’m not saying that not having a mom is easy, it truly sucks not to have a mom to call and share good and bad news with. But, once I learned to embrace her role in my life as it currently stands, it makes getting through Mother’s Day and everyday, SO much more peaceful and meaningful. Honoring my mom’s memory today with making sure I enjoyed the day as she would have liked…time with friends, my pups, reading, walking at the beach, eating fun food was all part of the strategy. And it worked. I survived another Mother’s Day. Next up, Father’s Day…and more of the same. xo
